


Turning a House into a Home

by Maledictius



Category: Temeraire - Naomi Novik
Genre: Baking, M/M, Post-Canon, even canon is on thin ice, i don't Do historical accuracy so jot that down, life in scotland, there's a bird involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 11:03:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17120162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maledictius/pseuds/Maledictius
Summary: Alt. title: how to distract yourself from your crush on your best friend who now lives in your house





	Turning a House into a Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scesisonomaton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scesisonomaton/gifts).



> I hope you like it, dear! <3  
> The rest of ya... I hope you like it too I guess  
> xoxo

Living in Scotland was nice. It was quiet, you got to be left alone when you wanted. It was maybe a bit cold, and maybe, just maybe, you’d sometimes get a little bored; due to the fact that there really wasn’t much to do once you had your affairs in order.

Tenzing Tharkay tried his best to stay busy.

He’d gotten what he wanted, and there was peace and quiet, he didn’t need to risk his life every day. That was nice.

He was also really bored.

Of course the company helped, the company was great! But sometimes the company would leave. And those would be the worst days. Those were the days that dragged on through eternity and Tharkay found himself stalking the halls of the manor house and resenting himself for it.

It simply wouldn’t do.

Therefor, the next time Will and Temeraire said they goodbyes and he watched them fly away, the very next thing he did was get himself a new bird. That process itself took up plenty of his time, but he had his new sparrowhawk nicely settled long before Will came back.

It was a young bird; she was very pretty, and completely untrained. This was exactly what Tharkay had wanted. She’d eat up his time, at least for a start.

And all was well, for several weeks. Then Will left again and after seriously considering it Tharkay decided that he couldn’t just keep getting more birds. He explained this to the sparrowhawk, and while she blinked at him with intelligent eyes she didn’t offer much advice.

So he trained her, and she learned quickly, as she should with all the time he spent with her. It was nearly all his time, he sat by her as she dozed and he talked to her, about whatever came to mind. He didn’t bother with English half the time; it didn’t matter to the bird anyway. And sometimes some words came easier in another tongue.

Still he could not spend every hour of the day with the poor bird, she deserved some time to herself too. And then he was at a loss for what to do again, and he was back to wandering down corridors, glancing into rooms that no one really used.

 

-

 

“She seems to be doing well,” Will said as they walked back from visiting Temeraire one morning.

Tharkay nodded and glanced at the bird on his shoulder.

“She’s very clever,” he said.

“Have you named her yet?” Will asked.

“No, I have not.” Tharkay reached up his hand and the sparrowhawk jumped down to land at his wrist, claws digging into the fabric of his coat. He stroked her feathery  back. “I should put her to work; I fear she will get spoilt.”

“She seems quite content,” Will said, a soft smile on his face. “Do you think she can keep up with Temeraire?”

“For a short while maybe, but not for long,” Tharkay said.

They made it almost the entire way back to the house before Will spoke again.

“I feel like we just got back yesterday, but I’m afraid we’ll be departing soon again,” he said.

“I see,” Tharkay responded. He didn’t really.

He considered training the sparrowhawk to carry messages instead of hunting, but he could see no way of explaining why he deemed that necessary so he shelved that project rather quickly. Instead he found himself, on one rainy day of many, in the doorway to the kitchen.  _ His _ kitchen. Yet not a place he’d spent any time it.

The cook he’d hired on was a Scottish mother of three by the name of Rosie Reid. The food she cooked was fitting for the place. It was simple and filling, straight to the point with no frills.

Tharkay watched her prepare the supper, a task that kept her from discovering him for quite a while. But when she did she stopped to greet him with what could generously be called a curtsy.

“How can I help you, Mr. Tharkay?” she asked.

Tharkay considered this question longer than he should.

“Can I help you?” he eventually replied. The cook stared back at him. “With the cooking,” he clarified. “Or anything.”

“Oh, well, that’s certainly not necessary,” the cook said.

“Necessary has nothing to do with it. I’m simply looking for a way to occupy myself,” Tharkay said.

The cook seemed to struggle to find something to say for a bit.

“In the kitchen?” she finally asked. Tharkay nodded.

“Well, I guess if that is what you wish, Mr. Tharkay,” Rosie said, but she hardly looked convinced. In fact she looked as though he might be crazy, Tharkay was fine with that.

She did let him help however, carefully at first, and it was a nice change of pace. The next day Tharkay went back and while Rosie looked both alarmed and surprised she didn’t complain. Not that she could really. But Tharkay hoped she didn’t actually mind. He found he quite liked the kitchen.

The first couple of days Rosie was on edge on how to act around him, he could understand that, from her point of view. But as she began to grow more comfortable she opened up, and she was a good teacher.

It did pass the time, and yet, even when Will had returned again, Tharkay kept going to the kitchen.

“Have you decided on a name yet?” Will asked one morning as they were having their breakfast. He was looking at the sparrowhawk on Tharkay’s shoulder, that Tharkay was feeding pieces of his own breakfast.

“No,” Tharkay said again. “I’d ask you for suggestions but I don’t think she deserves to be named after a boat.”

Will sipped his coffee and scowled.

“I know of other names,” he said. “And it’s a ship, not a boat.”

“I know,” Tharkay said and invited the sparrowhawk down on his arm so he could better scratch her neck. “Why does she need a name anyway?”

“It would be nice to have something to call her,” Will said.

“Maybe I’ll name her Wilhelmina,” Tharkay said. “What do you think?”

“I thought you didn’t want my opinion,” Will said. “But do, name her that. At least then she’ll have a name.” He set down his cup, neatly on its saucer, neatly like he did everything. “I’m going out to see Temeraire, would you and Wilhelmina like to accompany me?”

Tharkay held up the bird in front of his face, looked into her clever eyes.

“I don’t know, do we, Mina?” he asked. She blinked. Tharkay took that as a yes.

 

-

 

Tharkay looked down at the bread he was making and he was overcome by a sudden longing for  _ different _ food. Food of the east, something less hearty and heavy; something spiced to perfection. That’s what he gets for settling down in Scotland of all places.

“Is something the matter?” Rosie asked.

“No, just my mind wandering,” Tharkay said.

“Ay yes, bread does that,” Rosie said, with a smile. “I’ve heard say there’s not a problem that isn’t easier solved while making bread.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Tharkay said. He suspected she was right; there was something about the process of kneading bread he’d never expected.

If Rosie had noticed his scarred hands she hadn’t commented on it. Tharkay knew he didn’t have the greatest precision, or the steadiest hand, not anymore at least. His fingers were crooked and hard to bend and even harder to straighten out. He supposed he should be happy he’d recovered as much movement as he had. Maybe bread could help with that too.

He doubted that Rosie would appreciate him brining Mina into the kitchen, which he thought was reasonable. So he split his time between the two. Or three. Because as long as Will was home he did spent a considerable amount of time with him, and therefore also with Temeraire.

Having a large dragon living on your estate was an excellent way to both avoid callers and to invite callers. Mostly their visitors so far had been other aviators, Granby and Iskierka had come through and caused their usual ruckus, but nothing had burnt down so there was that.

Tharkay wondered if Will got bored too, if a quiet life, or as quiet as any life with a dragon like Temeraire around could ever be, in the country was really what he wanted. But he’d never been good at figuring out what Will wanted in any case. He had not really thought they’d accept his offer to start with, but they had and here they were. It was strange, after so many years of only meeting fleetingly, all around the world, to suddenly have all this time, to be in the same place.

It was a time of discovery. A time of realizations. And, in some cases, a time of trial.

William Laurence did not much care about food. He ate what was offered to him, and while he had some preferences, he didn’t seem to pick favourites. Tharkay ignored his own food in order to watch Will eat. Neat, and efficient, showing more of the soldier and less of the refined upbringing. Tharkay could understand that. He’d learnt the same early on, and as someone who had existed far away from a place like this for so long there was where his comfort lay.

They weren’t the most proper pair, in more ways than one, in less ways than expected. But they had the freedom to be whatever they wanted because of that. Tharkay because no one expected anything great from him anyway. Will because he was all things and everything at once, war hero and traitor, a prince and an outcast. And because, above else, he was the captain of a dragon, and few would go against Temeraire in battle, be it with weapons or words.

“What’s on your mind, Tenzing, to make you smile so?” Will asked. Tharkay just shook his head, picked up a bread roll.

“I made these,” he said. “I haven’t made many things before.”

Will stared at him, brow furrowed, darkening his bright eyes.

“You’ve been… baking?” he asked, carefully.

“Yes.” Tharkay split the roll and took a bite. “They’re pretty nice.”

“Yes, but, if you don’t mind me asking, why?” Will asked and Tharkay shrugged.

“I was bored,” he answered.

“You were bored, so you decided to bake bread rolls?”

“That’s what I said, yes.” Tharkay watched as a worrying smile appeared on Will’s face. “What?”

“I didn’t think you’d be quite so domestic, shall I expect you to take an interest in the curtains next?” Will said.

Tharkay observed the curtains.

“They are rather shabby,” he said. “This entire house is, so maybe I should.”

“Just don’t tell Temeraire or he will bring you suggestions and they will all involve gilding and no taste whatsoever,” Will said. “You’ve seen what he does to my clothes.”

“He makes sure you look properly dashing, and sparkling, just so very sparkling,” Tharkay said.

Will shook his head but he did so with that fond smile that was reserved for Temeraire and Temeraire only. It was one of Tharkay’s favourite smiles, it turned Will’s face soft, erased all worry, replaced them with a deep profound love that was a marvel just to watch.

A few days later Jane Roland visited them, she hadn’t sent any message ahead that she would do so, or she might not have found Tharkay deep in conversation with Mina in the courtyard. She had tried to attack one of the kittens; Tharkay was explaining to her that she was not allowed to do that.

“Tharkay, are you speaking Durzagh to that bird?” Jane asked as she came walking towards him. Both Tharkay and Mina looked up at her, equally surprised.

“She doesn’t understand English very well,” Tharkay said. “She doesn’t understand Durzagh either but I think it gets the point across clearer.”

Jane laughed and looked around the courtyard, up at the house.

“I do apologize for showing up uninvited, but we were going past and I thought I might as well take the opportunity. We saw Temeraire, and he informed us that I’d find the both of you at home,” she said.

“You’re very much welcome, Roland,” Tharkay said. “I think Will is tending to correspondence. If you’d care to come with us we shall venture to find him together.” He raised his arm up so Mina could jump onto his shoulder and went for the door.

“How are you enjoying lording over your estate, Tharkay?” Jane inquired as Tharkay held open the door for her.

“Most of it is tedious and the rest seems to serve little purpose, and yet it must all be done. But I shan’t complain, it was my will that landed me here.” Tharkay closed the door behind him, and with Mina settled comfortably on his shoulder led Jane through the house to where he thought Will to be.

“Temeraire seems very pleased,” Jane said. “With his pavilion and his political prospects, I’m sure he’s entertaining Excidium thoroughly with details of it all at this very moment.”

“It must have been hard for you to leave such a conversation behind,” Tharkay said. “We shall have to endeavour to be even half as entertaining.”

“Oh, don’t exert yourself on my behalf,” Jane insisted. “This is a nice house; a bit outdated I’m sure, although I have no eye for such things myself.”

“I’ve been told I should make that my next project. It sure could do with a fresh coat of paint at the very least,” Tharkay said. “I don’t think I have the eye for it either, but I’m also told money can get you help with such things.”

“It sure comes a long way in making things easier,” Jane agreed.

Tharkay stopped by a door and rapped it twice before pushing it open.

“Will, a visitor for you.” He held the door open for Jane without waiting for a reply.

As Will and Jane caught up Tharkay excused himself with needing to let Mina rest and left them to it. It was a convenient excuse and it was mostly true. Mina did need to be put away because Tharkay soon needed to go to the kitchen. That didn’t stop him from fussing over her for a while and then from getting caught up in the kittens playing in the courtyard.

He was pretty sure the cats had been there from the start, and he thought that Rosie might be feeding them; the kittens had still been a surprise. There were three of them; one black, one tortoise and one black and white. They were running around chasing each other and using Tharkay’s legs as cover.

As he crouched down to pick up the black one he heard the door open, and glanced up to see Jane stepping out. He straightened up, but kept the small ball of fur in his hands.

“Are you leaving already, Roland?” he asked.

“Yes, we actually have places to be, but I figured we could afford a short stop,” she said as she crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows at him. “I’m surprised you haven’t a dog as well.”

Tharkay scratched the little kittens head and held him up in front of Jane.

“He looks like Temeraire,” he said, and Jane rolled her eyes.

“Do you know, Tharkay, that if I had not met you myself I’m not sure I’d have believed you to be real,” she said with a wry smile.

“Whatever do you mean?” Tharkay asked.

“Oh only that if you just go by hearsay you seem much more of a benevolent fairy come to bring William Laurence whatever he needs, be it twenty dragons, a cure for amnesia, or an estate in Scotland, than anything else.” Jane shook her head. “It makes me wonder, maybe what he really needs isn’t all those things at all, it’s just you.”

“I can’t be held responsible for at least one of those things,” Tharkay said but Jane waved him off.

“My point is that while we’ve all had to do our part to keep that man alive you’ve outshone us all, and apparently with no effort on your part,” she said. “He’s your problem now, and I wish you luck.” With that she stepped down from the door and set off across the courtyard.

“If you suggest that it takes no effort to keep William Laurence alive you have clearly not been paying attention,” he said dryly, and Jane smiled over her shoulder at him.

“Until we meet again, Tharkay.”

Tharkay watched her leave and then stood and stared after her until the kitten began to wriggle and then sank its tiny teeth into his hand. He looked down at it.

“That’s all scar tissue, little one, you can’t hurt me,” he said, but he still set it down to go run off with his siblings and then turned to enter the house again. He reached for the door and then let his hand fall and with a heavy sigh he turned again and leaned his back against it instead, let his eyes close.

“No effort, huh.” He leaned his head back and scoffed.

Tharkay liked Jane Roland, and so, of course, did Will. He hadn’t asked, didn’t think there was any way to ask, why Will was here with him and not someplace else, by Jane’s side. Though he suspected that the answer lay with the one who had left just now, not the one still inside. With another sigh Tharkay pushed himself around and went back inside.

No need to dwell on it, he had bread to bake.

 

-

 

Rosie had Tharkay stirring the stew as she flitted about the kitchen doing a dozen things at once. The stew smelled strongly of garlic and thyme. Tharkay did think it would taste good, but he also thought that he might enjoy this part more than the actual eating.

“Do you know how long Mr. Laurence will be away?” Rosie asked as she appeared at Tharkay’s side again.

“He estimates a fortnight, at the least,” Tharkay replied. Rosie huffed and then looked over the stew Tharkay was stirring.

“That looks to be ready. It is of course not for me to say, but I do not think he eats well when he’s away, all this flinging about.” She moved away again. “The dragon I’m sure eats as well as always, brings his on cook with him wherever he goes and all.”

Tharkay smiled as he moved the stew away from the stove.

“Yes, but in turn that dragon is the one who makes sure that Will remembers to eat at all so I think it works out in the end,” he said.

“Well he is a dear, our Temeraire,” Rosie said, pride in her voice and Tharkay was struck silent for a moment.

_ Our Temeraire. _

He wondered if explaining dragon-logic to Rosie would make her change her mind on that subject, but he doubted it, and it made him happy to hear. Not that the disapproval of the staff would have stopped him from offering his home to Will and Temeraire, but their cooperation was certainly to prefer.

Rosie wiped off her hands on her apron and looked over at Tharkay.

“I’ve never left Scotland myself,” she said. “Never seen the need for it. But I guess both you and Mr. Laurence had been all over the world.” Tharkay nodded. “Have I missed anything important?”

Tharkay considered it, thought of all his favourite places.

“That depends on what you value seeing,” he said. “There’s beauty out there, and sometimes weather that tries to kill you with a lot more candour than here.”

“Do you plan on doing more traveling, Mr. Tharkay?” Rosie asked.

“I do not know. Right now I want to make sure this estate is taken care off. But I wouldn’t mind travelling, especially now that it may be done without war looming over our heads,” Tharkay said.

“Where would you go?”

Tharkay considered this too, for far longer than such a simple question required. But the first answer that came to mind was not one he could offer Rosie.

_ I’d go where Will goes _ .

Instead he said, “Maybe America.”

Later, when he and Will were eating that stew, seated at the corner of a far too big table, Tharkay considered asking Will that same question. But he realized he might not like the answer so he didn’t. He didn’t eat much of the stew either, although it was very good. Instead he watched Will, and twirled his glass carefully in his hand.

Will didn’t make much conversation; indeed he seemed lost in thought throughout their meal. When he finally looked up he offered Tharkay a weak smile.

“How early will you be leaving?” Tharkay asked.

“After breakfast, if I can get Temeraire to stop fussing by then,” Will said.

“It’s an important event for him, I think he’s entitled to a bit of fussing,” Tharkay said. Will just nodded. “Are your plans to join him for the evening?”

“No, he assured me that he wouldn’t need me, I’m not sure if he was being completely honest, but...” Will shrugged.

“Then will you play a few sets of cards with me?” Tharkay asked, and Will agreed.

They moved into the library and Tharkay left the dealing and shuffling of cards to Will, knowing his own hands would do a poor job of it.

“Are you worried?” Tharkay asked.

“For Temeraire? No, he’ll do well. I just hope he’ll stay on track, he has a tendency to want to deal with every single problem all at once.” Will shook his head with a fond smile. “There does not seem to be an end to policies he takes issue with.”

“He’s quite the libertarian,” Tharkay said and looked over his cards. “Of course I agree on his view on most things, but I doubt we’re in the majority.”

“Certainly not,” Will said. “Still, there’s been headway, and every small victory is still a victory.”

They played in silence, a comfortable silence, as the light dimmed in the room. Will seemed calm, although not entirely relaxed, and he was a gracious loser.

“I’ll come see you off tomorrow,” Tharkay said when they eventually parted ways to retire.

And he did.

It was a rather chilly morning, fog lay heavy around the estate. It didn’t seem to put a damper on Temeraire’s mood however.

“I promised Perscitia that I would practise my speech for her, she has of course read it all, and helped make improvements, but it’s not quite the same,” he said and he looked rather smug Tharkay thought.

“Just don’t commit treason,” Tharkay said and patted Temeraire’s leg, then turned to Will. “That goes for you too.”

“There won’t be any need for that,” Temeraire said, affront in his voice. “This time.” Will sighed.

“Are you ready to leave, my dear?” he asked the dragon.

Tharkay watched as they took off and disappeared, then he turned around and went back to the house. He figured he’d get started on the distractions early.

 

**Laurence**

When Laurence saw the now familiar house underneath them he breathed out a sigh of relief. Temeraire set down next to his pavilion  and immediately inspected it for any damage.

“It’s not even been a fortnight,” Laurence told him. “I doubt anything has happened in such a short time.”

Temeraire ceased his inspection, although Laurence was certain it was simply put on hold. Instead he looked to the house.

“I’m sure Tharkay will be surprised to see us, we’re early,” he said.

“Only by two days,” Laurence said, one hand against Temeraire’s leg.

“It was very fun, but I am glad to be home.” Temeraire lowered his head towards Laurence. “It’s nice is it not?”

Laurence smiled at the dragon and nodded.

“Yes, it’s very nice,” he said. To be home. “Are you hungry, my dear?”

“A little bit. You should go greet Tharkay, in case he hasn’t noticed our arrival,” Temeraire said, casting a look again at his precious pavilion. Laurence would have been offended by such a blatant attempt at getting rid of him but he also really wanted something hot to drink, and maybe a chair. So he didn’t argue but left Temeraire to make sure everything was in order.

As he turned around the house and into the courtyard he was struck by just how familiar it had become. They’d lived here for nearly five months, so it should not have been a surprise, and yet... It struck Laurence as rather odd when he looked upon this house and, like Temeraire, thought of it as  _ home _ .

What was also odd was that he had his things packed away in his room and had not yet seen or heard Tharkay. So he went looking for him. It was possible that he wasn’t at home; the man had his own business to tend to. Laurence hoped that wasn’t the case, the house always felt empty without Tharkay in it.

He found him in the kitchen, which he then realized he should have anticipated. He’d been drawn in by the voices; Tharkay’s dry tones in stark contrast to the cook’s hearty laughter, and now stood in the doorway looking into the warm kitchen. Neither Tharkay nor Mrs. Reid had noticed him; apparently Tharkay was regaling her with stories of his travels,  _ their _ travels. He was also kneading bread, his coat discarded and his shirtsleeves rolled up above the elbows.

Laurence had known, Tharkay had told him, yet seeing it was an entirely different thing. He felt like he was encroaching on something personal, like it was something he should not see, yet he couldn’t look away.

It was Mrs. Reid that eventually spotted him.

“Mr, Laurence, my apologies I did not see you there,” she said and that of course alerted Tharkay to Laurence’s presence as well.

“Will, you’re back early, did everything go well?” he said.

“As well as could be hoped for,” Will said. “Well enough for us to be able to leave early.”

There was flour smudged on Tharkay’s cheek.

“Glad to hear it. That means Temeraire is still in a good mood, I assume?” Tharkay asked. Laurence nodded.

“He very much is, maybe a bit too full of himself,” Laurence answered. “Although he was very concerned something had happened to his pavilion in our absence.”

“Ah, do you think that concern may be extended to involve the rest of the estate? There are some fallen trees that need moving, I’m sure his help would be greatly appreciated,” Tharkay said.

“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind in the least,” Will said. “I shall ask him, and leave you to it. Mrs. Reid.” Will nodded his head and smiled at the cook and then left.

-

 

Laurence didn’t know what he had done to offend Mina but the bird was staring at him with what he could only interpret as loathing. She was perched on the armrest of Tharkay’s chair and he was absentmindedly stroking her feathers with one hand. Laurence shook his head at the bird and leaned back in his own chair. On the table between him and Tharkay there was a chess board that neither paid much attention too, but Laurence thought he as losing rather spectacularly.

Outside the consistent rain had finally let up, to the side of them a fire burned.

“I received a letter from Granby,” Laurence said. “They’ll have to postpone their visit, apparently Iskierka is requested elsewhere.”

“That’s never a good sign,” Tharkay said. He gently scratched the top of Mina’s head and she closed her eyes in contentment. “At least that will give Temeraire more time to finish up his pavilion, so that he can show it off properly this time.”

Laurence smiled. Iskierka had been far from impressed by the barely started construction she’d seen when she and Granby had visited earlier. Temeraire was now set on it being perfect, even if he didn’t care for her opinion whatsoever of course.

Tharkay knocked out one of Laurence’s pawns and then looked past Laurence to the window.

“As much as I’m enjoying this game I think I’d better take Mina out for a flight before it gets dark. Would you care to accompany us? We can check in on Temeraire on the way,” he asked.

“That sounds like a fine idea,” Laurence said, happy he didn’t have to stare at the little chess pieces anymore. He pushed back his chair and stood up, picking up his coat and putting it back on as he did. Tharkay clicked his tongue at Mina and the bird fluttered up to his shoulder before he stood as well.

It was a cold and damp evening, with fog rolling in across the ground, but the sun cast the sky in fiery reds and pinks. As soon as they’d left the house behind Tharkay let Mina soar into the sky.

“It’s quite beautiful like this,” Laurence mused.

“Yes, when it’s not raining,” Tharkay agreed. “Yet everything is still wet.”

“You should have counted on that when you decided to settle in Scotland,” Laurence pointed out and Tharkay only scoffed in response.

He was right, of course. The air was heavy and it left beads of moisture on everything, and the cold was the kind that seeped into your bones if you didn’t watch out. But it was also very beautiful. The rolling hills that stretched out around them, the clusters of tree draped in fog, the burning sky.

They visited Temeraire, and listened as he spoke of changes he’d like to have made to the pavilion, then they continued on past. Mina kept track of them from the sky. Laurence had seen this land from that sky far more often than he had walked it himself. It was, however, very nice. Tharkay did not speak much, only to make short observations on what they could see. The silence was that of comfort, a security in each others company that did not need to be filled with words. Laurence was grateful for that, to be able to have both companionship and peace.

As they came back around towards the house Tharkay whistled and lifted his arm up and seemingly from nowhere Mina came soaring to take the offered perch.

“Hey, little lady,” Tharkay said to her. “Did you see anything fun?”

Laurence smiled, turned his face away so Tharkay wouldn’t see.

 

**Tharkay**

Knives were becoming a problem.

Knives had never been a problem before. Knives were simple, at least if used for cutting things, or people. But this, this required precision, and precision with knives was a problem.

He stared down at the potatoes and he wished he could blame them. He stared at the knife that was lying next to his hand, it wasn’t to blame either. Not really. With a sigh be picked it back up, carefully bent his fingers around the shaft, and then, grabbed a potato and he focused.

It went pretty well, he got the peel of off half the potato before his grip slipped and he nicked his finger. With a frustrated growl he dropped both potato and peeler.

“Is it disagreeing with you?” came the voice of Will from behind him.

“No, it’s being perfectly agreeable,” Tharkay replied as he turned around to glare at Will.

“You’re bleeding,” Will said. Tharkay looked down at his hand, indeed he was.

“It’s nothing,” he said, but Will was already moving towards him, fishing out a handkerchief as he did so. “Will, you don’t need to--”

“Oh, hush.” Will gently lifted up Tharkay’s hand and pressed the handkerchief to the small cut on his thumb. “These hands have suffered enough,” he said, and gave Tharkay a disapproving look. “You should be more careful.”

Tharkay rolled his eyes.

“If I survived all  _ that _ , a kitchen shouldn’t be a problem,” he said, and Will just shook his head as he wrapped the very white and clean fabric around Tharkay’s thumb.

“Where is Mrs. Reid?” he asked.

“She went to feed the cats, but she’s been gone a while so I’d guess they’re keeping her occupied,” Tharkay answered. Will still had his hand in a soft grip. Tharkay cleared his throat. “Really, Will, it’s nothing.”

“Hmm,” Will said, but he let go of Tharkay’s hand.

“Did you need anything?” Tharkay asked. “Or were you just checking in?”

“Oh, right.” Will reached into a pocket and retrieved a folded piece of paper. “I got word a delivery I’ve been waiting for has been made. I was just going to tell you that me and Temeraire will be gone for a bit, we should be back by evening.”

“Alright,” Tharkay said, nodding. “Shall we expect you for supper then?”

“Hopefully, but don’t wait for us if we’re late,” Will said. He slipped the paper back into his pocket, took a step back, and was finally out of Tharkay’s personal space. Not that Tharkay had really minded.

“Safe travels, then,” Tharkay said. Will smiled, but it seemed a little forced.

“Thank you. Take care, Tenzing.”

Tharkay watched him leave and then looked at the handkerchief now stained with blood and sighed. The potatoes stubbornly remained unpeeled. He’d have to leave that to Rosie. It annoyed him to no end.

 

There was no need to wait for Will, he was back in good time, earlier than Tharkay would have guessed. Tharkay was looking through some papers concerning the estate when Will entered the office, carrying a wooden crate, tied around with string. He set it down on a table.

“What do you have there?” Tharkay asked, already turning his attention back to the columns of numbers.

“A gift,” Will said.

“Oh, from whom?” Tharkay asked.

“From me,” Will said, and Tharkay looked up again, caught Will’s smile. “To you.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, so come over here and have a look at it,” Will said. Tharkay supposed he should, so he set the papers down and made his way over. Will stood proudly by the crate, waiting.

“Why?” Tharkay asked as he tugged on the strings keeping the lid on. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Will shrug.

“I admit the suggestion came from Temeraire, and I agreed that it would be a good idea,” he said.

Tharkay moved the strings and lifted the lid to find the crate packed with straw, and hiding in the straw; glass jars. He carefully picked up the first one he uncovered. It was filled with a finely ground brown powder, and it had painted on the wooden lid the word  _ Cinnamon _ . Tharkay carefully set it aside and picked up the next one. This one contained star anise. The next one ground ginger. There were ten of them in total.

For a long moment Tharkay stared at the spice jars, then he turned to Will.

“You got me spices?” he said. Will nodded.

“I know scottish food isn’t your favourite, and I figured this might help,” Will said. Tharkay looked back at the jars, ran his hand over the lid of  _ Chili _ and he had no control over the smile on his face.

“Thank you,” he said. He wanted to say so much more, but he didn’t.

Will kept smiling at him and clapped a hand onto Tharkay’s shoulder.

“My pleasure,” Will said.

It was such a simple thing really, but the thought was what made it extraordinary. Tharkay did not receive many gifts, and he’d never really wanted them. He managed on his own. But it was nice, to be thought of.

Tharkay nodded, Wills hand felt warm even through his coat.

Very nice indeed.

 

-

 

Temeraire looked down at them with pride, and a fair amount of smugness that he’d never admit to.

“It is sad,” he said. “That the world must be so very big, so that you may not have the things you want close at hand.”

“It’d make you far too complacent,” Tharkay said. “It wouldn’t do to be too comfortable.”

Temeraire didn’t look like he agreed with that all, from his position in his nicely warmed pavillion.

“I don’t see how it would be bad to get to eat the food one prefers,” he said.

“In theory that would be grand,” Tharkay said. “But there is no way to accomplish that that wouldn’t benefit solely those with enough privilege.”

“But that’s how it is already,” Temeraire said, and Tharkay grinned up at him.

“Indeed, but it could always be worse,” he said. “It does people good to be a little uncomfortable.”

Temeraire huffed and looked to Will for support, but simply got a vague shrug.

“Well, I believe there is a way to make  _ everyone _ comfortable. In the end,” he said.

“And I admire your conviction,” Tharkay said, “keep aiming for that.”

“But you liked the gift, did you not?” Temeraire asked, dipping his head down to peer at Tharkay.

“Yes, Temeraire, I did. It was a very fine gift,” Tharkay said.

“Good, I’m glad,” Temeraire said with satisfaction.

Tharkay grinned up at him.

“Just don’t expect me to cook anything for you, you have professionals for that,” he said.

“That was never the intention,” Temeraire said, with a look of affront. “I simply suggested a gift might be appropriate.”

“Appropriate it is?” Tharkay asked, knowing he should not bicker with the dragon, but he couldn’t help himself.

Temeraire pulled himself up, but seemed to hesitate, and Tharkay caught him looking to Will.

“Yes, I believe that is the  _ appropriate _ word,” he eventually said, and Tharkay laughed.

“Alright,” Will cut in, “I’m sure you could continue, but that is not what we came here for.”

Tharkay thought Temeraire looked relieved, and Will a bit uncomfortable. He filed that away to consider later.

Will had gone to read to Temeraire, and had invited Tharkay along, which he didn’t do many times. But since Tharkay had wanted to thank Temeraire, it had made sense. He didn’t pay much attention to the material being read, happy to sit and simply listen to Will’s voice, smiling as Temeraire interrupted to argue some point or another. Yet he excused himself rather early to leave them to it as he went his evening round of checking in on Mina.

She was dozing, and he stopped for a while to stroker her feathers.

He wondered when he’d gotten so comfortable.

He’d just told Temeraire it wasn’t bad to be a little uncomfortable. I gave you something to aim for. Yet there were few things that he really felt he missed. Most were irrelevant. Some he’d learnt to live without long ago. There would surely still be plenty of strife in his future, but at least he had this. And this, this was comfortable.

 

**Laurence**

Laurence watched as Tharkay warmed his hands by the fire and he caught the grimace of pain that flitted across his face as he stretched his fingers.

“Are your hands giving you trouble?” he asked.

“In the ways of old injuries they ache in the cold,” Tharkay said and balled his fingers up into fists. Laurence was looking for it so he saw the tension in Tharkay’s jaw as he clenched his teeth together. Laurence had his own share of such injuries. Scars that pulled at his skin, muscle that seemed to remember what had long since healed.

“It's winter,” was what he said, uselessly, and Tharkay let out a dry laugh. 

“So it is,” he said. “And I find it makes me wish myself elsewhere.”

Laurence rose from his chair and walked over to Tharkay’s side at the fire. The house held up to the cold surprisingly well, but any room without a fire quickly turned freezing. Several mornings Laurence had woken early and gone to Temeraire instead of trying to wake a fire.

“Where would you go?” he asked. 

“Someplace warm,” Tharkay said.

“Australia then.” Laurence watched the fire as it danced. “Me and Temeraire have talked about it many times. About going back there, to our valley, the farm.”

“Why don't you?” Tharkay asked, his voice uncharacteristically soft. Laurence glanced at him, found him equally transfixed by the flames.

“It was always a dream for a future after everything else was done,” he said. “And maybe, one day, we will go. But for now we have this, and Temeraire has his politics. And there just didn't seem enough reason to leave.

“The thought hasn’t crossed my mind in a long time now. I think it was a far more important dream during the war, something for us to look to. A way to imagine a future.”

“Is that still a future you want?” Tharkay asked, and there was such a slight trace of hesitation in his voice that Laurence thought he might have imagined it.

“I don't honestly know. I've made so few thoughts to the future since... Well, since Temeraire I suppose. All I've known is that he is in it, and that is always enough,” Laurence said. “I think we'll go back to China at some point, maybe we'll stay for a while. Maybe we'll go back to New South Wales. Maybe it will remain a dream.”

Tharkay was silent, his hands now still, the tension in his jaw still present.

“And if you can dream,” he said, “where would you go then? Who would you be? You're free to choose, Will, dragon or not.”

Laurence turned to face Tharkay, who steadfastly kept looking at the fire. It was not a strange question, but the manner in which it had been asked was. It was a question fishing for an answer. 

“I do hope you don’t think we're unhappy here, Tenzing. Nothing could be further from the truth. You offered us exactly what we needed at exactly the right time, as you are want to do, and we'll forever be grateful for it. It's true this is not what I had imagined, but I never let myself imagine much, and now that I find myself here I can see that it suits us just as well as that valley in New Wales.” Laurence reached out a hand to Tharkay’s shoulder, forced him to turn his attention to Laurence. “You offered us a home.”

A wry smile played over Tharkay’s lips. 

“I offered you a house,” he said. Laurence shook his head, and with his free hand gestured at the room. 

“This would only have been a house if you'd not stayed in it,” he said and then he frowned at his own words. “What I mean to say is: a house is just a place, but it's the people that share that place that make it a home.”

Tharkay stared at him, light from the fire reflecting in his dark eyes and casting a golden glow over his skin.

Laurence had told the truth. He did not think of his future much, he thought of Temeraire future a great deal, and simply lumped himself in there as well. He had imagined a future once, one with a home and a family, but with the years that dream had taken hit after hit until he had trouble seeing it at all. And yet, he'd achieved just that. A home, and a family, although an unconventional one. For anyone not an aviator that is, not a captain. And maybe some of that dragon logic had infected him because he found he counted Tharkay into his idea of family too, and even Mina. In some sense Iskierka would be family too, through Ning, and then Granby through her. And had not the aviators, the captains and their dragons, been more family than his blood relatives at times? Maybe he just needed to widen his perspective on thing. 

“Will,” Tharkay said and Laurence was snapped back to reality, and ah... Tenzing. 

The thought of family came easy when Laurence looked at him. Somehow, during the years it had simply become fact, somewhere he'd lost track of what else to call them, when friends seemed too simple to cover it.

Now Tharkay was watching him as intensely as he been watching the fire, dark hair fell across his forehead but managed to stay out of his eyes, and Laurence forced himself to consider the importance of this man in his life. This man that had saved him from certain death, from amnesia, and even from himself. He lacked the words, lacked any order to put them in to express any if it. 

“Will, are you alright?” 

He was dimly aware that he'd been staring in silence at Tharkay for a long moment, his hand still on the other man's shoulder.

“Yes,” he said. “Simply lost in thought.”

Tharkay raised an eyebrow at him and Laurence found himself smiling.

Tharkay, who was a home, who baked bread and drank his coffee with too much sugar, who dotted on a hawk like a loving parent and teased Temeraire with much the same joy as he played with a kitten, and Tharkay who would always do what was best for them, even when they didn't know it. Who gave and gave and gave, and hid such kindness under wry smiles and sarcastic remarks. 

“Honestly, Will, what is the matter?” 

Laurence was still smiling, and he widened his perspective and gave up on thought. 

For just a moment he acted and then he realized that he might have made a grave mistake, but of course then it was too late, he’d already brought his lips to Tharkay’s. It was just the slightest touch, barely there for one short moment, before reality caught back up and Laurence stepped back, ready to face the consequences.

Tharkay watched him, frozen in place.

“Ah, I’m sorry,” Laurence said.

“What?” Tharkay said.

Laurence swallowed, he could feel his heart racing, his mouth had gone dry.

“I shouldn't have done that,” he said, and he saw Tharkay’s eyes narrow.

“Then why did you?” he asked. It was a fair question, Laurence wished he had an answer.

“I don’t know,” he said, and his hand were raised between them, as if he was ready to defend himself, but Tharkay had not moved an inch. “I wasn’t thinking.”

Tharkay sighed, Laurence saw his shoulders sag, saw the miniscule shake of his head.

“Damn it, Will, what do you want?” he asked.

Laurence dropped his hands down, drew a deep breath and let it out again.

“I’m sorry, Tenzing, I was out of line,” he said.

“No, not that,” Tharkay said. “Think bigger.” He stepped forward, raised a hand and tapped Laurence chest with his knuckles. "What do you want, Will?"

Laurence shook his head.

"I don't know,” he said. “I want... A home. I want to see Temeraire happy and content. I... I want you to be happy too, Tenzing. So can you tell me? What do you want?"

Tharkay shrugged. Dismissive. 

"I want you and Temeraire to stay," he said. 

“... And?”

“There doesn't need to be an and, Will. That is enough,” Tharkay said, and the way he said it told Laurence that he really believed it too.

Laurence looked at him, then slowly shook his head. No, no that was not enough. That should not be enough for anyone.

He looked into a face that seemed more familiar than his own. This was Tharkay. The one person who always brought out the truth in him, no matter how deep it was buried.

Laurence thought again of the barely kiss, and his chest felt tight and his breath shallow. That was the truth, even if he did not know the words that went with it. Maybe it should be strange, should be awkward, but this was  _ Tenzing _ , and it felt... Right. Just as this place felt like home. 

Laurence reached out a hand, touched Tharkay’s face, saw his lips part but close again into a grim line and Will found himself smiling. 

“I think,” he started, softly, “that I might want you.”

Tharkay stared at him, surprise in his eyes, which Laurence thought a bit worrying since he  _ had _ just kissed the man after all. Then he blinked, a couple of times, and once again made to speak but didn't. Laurence smile widened. He'd not thought there was anything capable of rendering Tenzing Tharkay speechless, but it seemed he'd found it.

“If that would be alright,” Laurence continued. “You've given me far too much already.” At this the stunned look on Tharkay’s face turned into a scowl.

“I’ve been yours a long time now,” he said. 

“Oh, you should have informed me.”

Tharkay huffed in annoyance then grabbed Laurence by the lapels and tugged him forward into another kiss, a kiss there was no barely about. Unlike Laurence Tharkay did not hesitate and Laurence was grateful. He found his hand in Tharkay’s hair, yet did not remember putting it there. He was dimly aware of a hand pressed to his neck, but he had a hard time paying attention to anything that wasn’t this kiss.

After so long, after so much, it shouldn’t be so easy, he thought. Yet kissing Tharkay was as easy as breathing. He let Tharkay set the pace, let himself be led, and when Tharkay broke the connection with a gasp he chuckled, and opened eyes he didn’t remember shutting and he stared at Tharkay’s face, and he was out of breath and out of his depth and he was smiling smiling smiling.

Carefully he brought a hand to Tharkay’s face, moving slowly, as if any sudden movement would break the spell. He let his fingertips graze over Tharkay’s cheek, over smooth skin and rough stubble, he touched his thumb to Tharkay’s bottom lip and saw how Tharkay swallowed.

“Consider me informed,” he said, and that sure did break the spell because Tharkay rolled his eyes and started laughing.

“You’re going to be the end of me, William Laurence,” he said.

“Nonsense,” he said, and leaned back in to catch Tharkay’s lips. He felt like he had some catching up to do.

 

Later, when they each split of for their respective bedchambers, Tharkay finally got a moment to consider this recent development.

He didn’t sleep. Oh no, he most definitely didn’t sleep. He lay in his bed and stared upwards until he felt like he was going crazy.

William Laurence had found his way into Tharkay’s heart many years ago, and Tharkay had simply learnt to live with that. It had become something of a comfort. Because it had been simple, and it had never been something he really expected to have an outcome like this. He could have made his feelings clear to Will many years ago, and knowing Will it would probably have been awkward but fine. Maybe they could have gone back to being friends eventually, but Tharkay could not take such a risk, not when he didn’t think there was anything to gain from it, not when he didn’t really mind.

He had always valued Will’s friendship above the rest. It was that friendship that had led him to make the offer to him and Temeraire to come stay at the estate. And it had been fine, he had been  _ fine _ .

He had been fine up until Will, unpredictable bastard, had _ kissed  _ him. Just like that! And then looked to the world as if he wanted nothing more than to turn and run. Even going so far as to apologize!

Tharkay sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He was exhausted, but he knew he could not sleep with his mind racing like this. So instead he got back up, and having not even bothered to undress it was a quick business before he was out of that room again.

He needed space, to think, to process. He needed to get rid of these walls, this roof.

The night-air was cool almost to the point of being freezing. It was perfect.

Tharkay’s feet led him to the outbuilding that had been made into Mina’s home, and when he reached for the door he was stopped by the sound of footsteps and looked up to see Will come walking. He’d clearly been to see Temeraire, and the surprise on his face must match the one on Tharkay’s.

“Tenzing,” Will said.

“Will,” Tharkay said.

They stared at each other without moving for a long moment until Will cleared his throat.

“I was restless, so I figured I’d go sit with Temeraire for a while,” he said. He glanced to the door that Tharkay was touching. “Might you have had the same kind of idea?”

“Yes,” Tharkay said. Once again silence reigned between them for half an eternity. “Will you come see Mina with me?”

Will nodded, and Tharkay opened the door.

It was hard to make out the sparrowhawk in the dark, but she greeted Tharkay with a squawk. He held out an arm to her and she gracefully left her perch to land on it.

“Sorry to wake you up, little lady,” he said to her, scratching her head.

“If that bird had been a dragon she’d been more spoiled than Iskierka at this point,” Will said.

“He’s just jealous,” Tharkay told Mina, “Don’t listen to him.”

“You named her after me,” Will said, as if it just occurred to him.

“Yes, I did,” Tharkay confirmed, and he dropped a kiss to Mina’s head. A hand landed on his shoulder, squeezed lightly and Tharkay turned to look at the shape that was Will.

“Let Miss Wilhelmina sleep,” he said, voice low. “Come back inside with me.”

Tharkay nodded, then realized Will could probably not see it.

“Alright,” he said. and he shook his arm a little and Mina took off to settle down on her perch again. As Tharkay turned around the hand on his shoulder slid off and down the length of his arm to catch his hand.

Tharkay considered himself a reasonable person, and definitely old enough to not be rendered breathless by someone taking hand hand. Yet here he was.

He let Will lead him back out, their fingers laced together, and Tharkay could not feel the cold this time.

 

_ One month later _

 

Tharkay was woken up by the removal of warmth from his side and stretched after it reflexively. But he was too late and quickly gave up. He could hear Will move, felt the shift when he left the bed, but it took him several more moments to open his eyes and achieve some sort of focus.

He did so just in time to see Will, a look of utter disgust on his face, as he picked up his crumpled shirt from the floor.

Tharkay couldn't help the huff of laughter that escaped him and Will turned his eyes to him, eyes full of betrayal.

“Come back to bed,” Tharkay tried, but Will shook his head.

“It's already late enough, and Temeraire is expecting me.”

Tharkay groaned but sat up, gathering the covers around him to protect from the chilly air. Will smiled at him, then sat down on the edge of the bed, shirt still in his hands.

“Why don't you get out if bed instead, and come with me?” he said and Tharkay nodded. Will’s smile widened, and there was something in that smile that told Tharkay that will had finally figured out his secret.

He'd be hard pressed to refuse William Laurence any request.

So he just sighed.

“Coffee first,” he said.

Will reached out a hand to stroke hair out of Tharkay’s face.

“Whatever you want,” he said and Tharkay felt his breath hitch.

“I wanted to stay in bed,” he said and Will laughed and then gave him a conspiratory smile.

“Look outside and you might notice that we have already done that. Besides,” Will leaned in across the bed, hand still on Tharkays face, “this bed will wait for us right here, my dragon will not.”

Tharkay leaned into the touch, turned his face to press a kiss to Will's palm. When he looked at Will again he saw a fondness in Will’s eyes that he'd once thought reserved only for Temeraire. He extracted a hand from the sheets he'd warped around himself so he could reach out tug his love closer.

Will came easily, that smile on his lips, a smile that grew when Tharkay kissed it. But then Will pulled back, removed his hand even. 

“Don't think you can distract me that easily, Mr Tharkay,” he said. Then he stood up and went about getting dressed again.

After observing this for a moment Tharkay said, “You should tell him. Temeraire, I mean.”

Will paused and the look he shot Tharkay was unexpected, because it was a very guilty look.

“He, uh, he might already know,” Will said,and at Tharkay’s raised eyebrows held up his hands. “I didn't tell him, but he asked, and I don't like lying to him, and he promised me he wouldn't speak of it. At least he had the incentive to prove himself better than Iskierka in that case, oh.” Will froze, a hand lifted to his mouth and Tharkay couldn't help from bursting into laughter.

“Oh, but I see you are not,” he said, and then at Will’s panicked expression added, “but do not fret, you reveal nothing I don't already know with that.”

“Ah, well that's… Good.” Will frowned. Tharkay leaned his head to the side.

“Will you tell Granby?” he asked.

“Whyever would I do that?” Will asked, seemingly entirely unprepared for such a suggestion. Tharkay shrugged. 

“I'm not saying you should. But maybe you should at least consider it. He is your friend, is he not? And he's one you can trust to not let slip, might, in fact, put him at ease where such matters are concerned.”

Will’s frown only deepened. 

“How is it that you… Know?” he asked, doubtfully, and Tharkay smiled.

“I'm an observant person,” he said. “I pay attention, and I can put two and two together.”

“So you speculate?”

Tharkay shook his head.

“Me and Granby have an… understanding,” he said. “And it is not one spoken about. But you don't need words to share everything, sometimes a look will do just fine. You were a sailor once, Will, I'm sure you understand the power of deniability.”

Will nodded.

“Is this a… Mutual understanding,” he asked. Tharkay grimaced.

“Unfortunately, Captain Granby is a rather perceptive person as well,” he said. 

“What do you mean?” Will asked with such earnestness that Tharkay was close to laughter again.

“I mean that it didn't take him quite so many years to realize where my interest lay,” Tharkay said and he got to watch those words sink into Will’s mind, saw Will open his mouth and then close it again. Twice. Then he cleared his throat and steadily looked anywhere but at Tharkay. 

“Since when?” he asked.

Tharkay wrestled free of the sheets and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

“The thought occurred to me as we were getting out of Sweden,” he said. Will stared at him. “Oh come now, Will, I know you don’t pay much attention to these things but you must know that you’re very easy to like.”

“I have to say I wasn’t sure you would even consider me a friend at the time,” Will said.

“I brought you twenty feral dragons,” Tharkay said.

“Yes, you did.”

“You’re terribly dense,” Tharkay continued. “It would be endearing if it wasn’t quite so frustrating.” Will just smiled at him and moved closer once more. He reached out to tip Tharkay’s head up and bent down to kiss him.

“Get dresses, my love,” he said softly, and Tharkay just nodded because what else could he do?

 

Living in Scotland was nice. The weather was abyssal, the food colourless, and the company... oh, the company was perfect.

And there was a house that by the presence of a dragon and his lovely captain had turned into a home and now Tharkay could not imagine himself being anywhere else, with anyone else.

It really was nice.


End file.
